SECURE & CONFIDENTIAL
Archive for May, 2007
Law of Attraction is about choosing LOVE or FEAR
Friday, May 25th, 2007When Mother Teresa received her Nobel Prize, she was asked, what can we do to promote world Peace? She replied, Go home and Love your Family! My topic today is on Choosing Fear or Love based on the work “Love is Letting Go of Fear” - Gerald Jampolsky
Did you grow up in a home where you were constantly told to be SEEN AND NOT HEARD? Or - in one of the following TYPES OF FAMILIES -
1. LOOK GOOD where you had to hide problems from community ; usually the family enjoys some status… It’s not okay to display feelings that don’t support the family self-image. It is a constant state of Denial. Everything is always FINE – the Feelings inside are Not expressed…
In this kind of family, YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO PLEASE GOD – and you knew you couldn’t be that!
RD Laing… Bradshaw’s Creating Love
When I was fourteen my class had to write a home essay on ourselves. Mine began, “Time lies heavily on my hands.” My parents were upset by this because they said it reflected on them… “You always have plenty to do…and it shows how ungrateful you are for all we have done for you.’ So I changed the opening to “I find life full of interest.” They were very happy, and I got a “Very Good.”
Children learn to live a lie..
2. Church Going — tend to spiritualize everything – WE don’t have arguments in our family – Bury their heads – there is nothing wrong here… Once again – child grows up to be an adult in denial of feelings or worse yet with a SPIRITUAL ADDICTION - They develop a Relationship with a spiritual world since this one isn’t working! (This isn’t ALWAYS the case with Church goers…but it is an extreme I am well aware of!
3. Soap Opera—roller coaster – shifting relationships and high emotions — often alcoholic homes – or homes where parents had bouts of anger followed by what looked like a lot of warmth. Sometimes these people RUN TO GOD in times of NEED ONLY
4. Not There – everyone had his or her own life — totally disorganized or looking like a hospital room – but certainly not relaxed. Each member lived separate lives, preoccupied with goals that weren’t shared. Lots of turfs and rights. ABSENT GOD - GOD IS DEAD
Encouraging a child means that one or more of the following critical life messages are coming through, either by word or by action: I believe in you, I trust you, I know you can handle this. You are listened to, you are cared for, you are very important to me.
Often in homes we grew up in, parents just weren’t there for us – sometimes physically – often emotionally.
5. Only Adults Live Here. – special rooms children can’t enter or conversations in a different language that children don’t understand.
God BECOMES SOMEONE SO DISTANT — certainly not someone we can reach.
6. Crime and Punishment - where physical and emotional boundaries are frequently violated and force and threat were often used. GOD WILL PUNISH YOU…
The relationship you have with yourself is highly influenced by the relationships you had with the adults around you as a child. The way the adults reacted to us then is often the way we react to ourselves now, both positively and negatively. When we grow up, we have a tendency to recreate the emotional environment of our early home life.
This is not good or bad, right or wrong. It is just what we know inside us “home’. We also tend to recreate in our personal relationships, the relationships we had with our mothers or with our fathers, or what they had between them. We also treat ourselves the way our parents treated us. We scold and punish ourselves in the same way.
Think for a moment of the words you use when you are scolding yourself? Most of the times you’ll find that they are the same words YOUR PARENTS used when they were scolding you?? YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT…. It’s ALL YOUR FAULT. How often have you said these things about yourself.
What about the words you use to Praise yourself… It’s usually the ones that were used on you as well.. YOU ARE WONDERFUL.. I LOVE YOU… How often do you tell yourself these things!!
Perhaps your parents never praised you, so you have no idea of how to praise yourself and hopefully by now you know there is something to praise. ***********I AM NOT BLAMING PARENTS — they couldn’t possibly teach us what they didn’t know. This message is just about giving us access to hidden beliefs or patterns we may not already be aware of.
Sondra Ray, the great Rebirther who has done so much work with relationships claims that every major relationship we have is a reflection of the relationship we had with one of our parents.
She claims that until we clean up that first one, we will never be free to create exactly what we want in the rest of our relationships.
Have you thanked your parents lately?
Love and the Law of Attraction - Sing your Song
Friday, May 18th, 2007The essence of the Quality of Love that we all posses is something deeper; it comes from the Aramaic word, Karma . a universal love that declares, .I love you because it is my nature to love.. You do not have to change for me to practice unconditional love and goodwill in both thought and action. Love - THE FEELING - is a fruit of love, the verb. The fruit of the action we take because of our very nature is what creates love; it’s the decision to love, not waiting for it to happen to you. That’s
what most of us do, we wait for love to come, rather than know that love is who we already are.
So, unconditional type of love, when it sees something unlike itself, looks past it. It can go beyond because this Love seeks the highest good. This is the kind of love that seeks the best out of each person. Universal love doesn’t look at whether or not someone is worthy to be loved. We make all those judgments? Should I love this person or not? Do I think that they measure up? Are they really up to my standards here? What is that about? The innate quality of love says, .I don’t care what you do. I don’t
care who you are. I will love you. I will seek the best for you. I will seek the good things for you. I will seek to do the good things for your life. I will lift you up that will bless your life. I will make you a better person than you are. I want to make you better than you are.
Isn’t that what life does? Doesn’t life constantly call us to be more than we already are? No matter what’s happening in our life. What it is, is a constant call that says, I want more for you. I want to give you all I have. I want you to have the good. This is a love that seeks your good of another person and doesn’t count whether they deserve it. There’s nothing you can do to deserve love. Isn’t that good news? How many of us strive continually in order to deserve love? We think we have to do something; we
have to be something in order to be loved.
There’s a really beautiful illustration of this kind of love. When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the unborn child. They recognize that every soul that comes into this world has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.
When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song. Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person’s bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next
life.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or an aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity.
The Law of Attraction comes into play - when you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another. That’s tapping into the quality of love that we are.
You may not have grown up in a tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life itself is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, you are in vibrational harmony and the Law of Attraction says - what you are doing matches your song. When you feel awful, it doesn’t. It’s natural.
Law of Attraction - Being a JOY Detector
Friday, May 11th, 2007We’re told that angels have wings because they take themselves lightly. Notice this week when you are making a drama out of something, and see what story you are telling yourself. “What am I telling myself about what’s happening? What’s really happening and what’s my story about what’s happening?” See if you can see that in two ways: one – see the facts of what is happening. I once heard this described as what you can put in a wheelbarrow. So, if you are saying something like, “When he did this, it made me”
or, “She said this, and it must have meant.” stop and say, “Would someone who was observing what was happening be able to say that’s what’s happened?” What would a newspaper picture show was actually happening? If someone frowns, for example, we say, “Obviously they are angry or obviously…” What would the picture look like if it were a static picture? We don’t only see what is happening, we make up what it means. And that’s when we lose our joy! What we make up makes us lose our joy! Trust me – I know, I’m good
at it!
Train yourself to be a Joy Detective. Look for the joy, instead of looking for what’s wrong. How many of us look for what’s wrong with the picture? And there may be a situation or it may be something in you. When you are tempted to complain about something, try complimenting yourself instead! Complain. Stop. Switch to a compliment.
And if there are experiences that you don’t feel joyful about ask, “What’s good about this situation?” When you ask the brain a question like, “What’s wrong with me?” your brain will give you an entire list of what’s wrong, or why this isn’t working. Your brain will tell you it’s because your mother did this when you were three and this happened when you were seven. Doesn’t that happen? So the questions we ask ourselves are really important. The question we are asking is, “What’s good about this situation?”
Get back to the original joy. Then, find at least 10 things a day you can compliment – and say them out loud to someone else. It’s a great way to experience joy. You can’t help but be joyful if you are spending the day thinking of what to compliment. Think about that, and begin to look at what’s working in your life and in everyone else’s.
And if there are experiences that you don’t feel joyful about ask, “What’s good about this situation?” When you ask the brain a question like, “What’s wrong with me?” your brain will give you an entire list of what’s wrong, or why this isn’t working. Your brain will tell you it’s because your mother did this when you were three and this happened when you were seven. Doesn’t that happen? So the questions we ask ourselves are really important. The question we are asking is, “What’s good about this situation?”
Get back to the original joy. Then, find at least 10 things a day you can compliment – and say them out loud to someone else. It’s a great way to experience joy. You can’t help but be joyful if you are spending the day thinking of what to compliment. Think about that, and begin to look at what’s working in your life and in everyone else’s.
The Next Internet Millionaire
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007There’s a wonderful new reality show being done for the Internet
and I auditioned. I need YOUR vote to get on the show.
Please go NOW This won’t cost anything
but a minute of your time.
http://www.nextinternetmillionaire.com/show.php?id=118
Thanks, Dr. Toni
You can audition too, of course. and then we’ll meet in Colorado
where the contest will actually take place.
a friend writes about the Secret, The Law of Attraction
Monday, May 7th, 2007The Bigger Secret
By Scott Kalechstein
The Secret is out, way out. Those who have been entrenched in feelings of powerlessness are finding their mojo by applying its principles. Yay to the setting of intentions, the power of positive thinking, and the wondrous Law of Attraction! Yay to manifesting a perfect soul mate, the ideal income, and our wildest dreams! Rock on, minds of mankind!
And while I am glad it has become so popular, I do have a few further thoughts to add to the conversation. When it comes to the Law of Attraction, I’m a bit of an out-law. To me it’s a little piece of the truth, and in the minds of egos wanting to play God, that can be a little dangerous. I believe that letting people in on the creative power of thought without also giving equal emphasis to the Law of Allowing is a bit like teaching people inhaling without letting them in on an intimate and inseparable part of the process – exhaling!
To put it simply, the Law of Attraction is about how to get what you want. The Law of Allowing is about appreciating what you get; in other words, letting go and letting God, or seeking ye first the Kingdom. When applied together, these Laws bring balance to the active and receptive male and female energies found within each of us.
It’s no secret that getting what you want doesn’t automatically lead to lasting fulfillment. If that were the case, the bathroom cabinets of the married, rich, and famous would not be filled with such an abundant supply of expensive anti-depression and anti-anxiety medication.
A Course In Miracles puts it bluntly: “The world I see holds nothing that I want.”
Yet we all want what we want. But what’s up with all this wanting? While wanting can be defined as desiring, it is also synonymous with lacking. “The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want” means that when we surrender our attachment to a specific outcome and trust in the benevolence of the universe, we shall not lack. And that is the Law of Allowing.
When we get rigidly attached to a desired outcome, however, we are coming from the assumption that we are not whole beings until we get what we want. And that’s an illusion that life delights in coaxing us to let go of.
Thaddeus Golas, in The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment, says “There is a good attitude to take towards any goal: It’s nice if it happens, nice if it doesn’t.” Does that mean we are to be detached from having passion? No, just detached from craving an outcome, from thinking there is some tear in the fabric of God’s perfection that needs to be stitched before we can fully enjoy being alive.
I love watching dogs run after seagulls on the beach. They set their sights on a flock and then are focused, single-minded, and even quite passionate about running down a bird. At the same time, they are very fulfilled in the thrill of the chase, having a tremendous amount of fun just frolicking on the beach. Going home without having caught a bird doesn’t for one moment diminish their love of life.
When we realize that just being alive is the gift that keeps on giving, we may pursue our own gulls just as passionately, but far less frantically. We value the process as much as the intended outcome. We embrace whatever we encounter along the trip with loving arms open wide enough to be grateful for it all.
When we have tasted the nectar of a fulfillment that is not dependent on the outside world granting us our desires, we realize that life is blessing us as much when we don’t get what we want as when we do. In those times we get to practice being friends with reality, letting go of our adversarial position to what is. A heavy burden is lifted each time we release the arrogant assumption that we are in possession of the big picture perspective enough to really know what our highest good is supposed to look like. We get to more thoroughly chew on yet another spiritual slice of humble pie A Course In Miracles invites us to digest: “I don’t perceive my own best interests.”
There’s nothing wrong with having goals and using the Law of Attraction to manifest them. Yet you can attain the world, only to have your achievements magnify and intensify your inner turmoil. An ego’s basic condition of lack, that nagging sense of ‘not enough-ness,’ cannot be overcome by worldy success. When Jesus said his Kingdom is not of this world, he was speaking for all of us.
Even my mother, a devout, practicing atheist, will exclaim after the first bite of some fabulous dessert, “Out of this world!” (It has been said that there are no atheists in foxholes, and I would venture to add that there also aren’t any biting into Junior’s New York cheesecake!)
The Bigger Secret is that there is a state of being available to us that is not of this world. Echoes of it visit us ever so briefly; the first few morsels of cheesecake, the first few mouthfuls of romantic love, and other fleeting moments of satisfaction. For some people who consistently choose to practice “Seek ye first the Kingdom”, that state sets up shop and sticks around as part of the fabric. It becomes the foundation of a sense of self rooted in eternity.
That’s what I want, to abide in a love that is not of this world. Perhaps that’s what we all want, even when we are seeking to manifest things of this world.
Have you had enough of a sense of not enough? Do you want out of the state of wanting that always leaves us wanting more? Let’s remember together: “I am as God created me, and I am free, whole and complete as I am. I am enough, I have enough, and I do enough. I wake up from the dream of lack. I am drenched in abundance at all times. Every sunrise is proof of my infinite wealth, every breath is a miracle, and all is supremely and eternally well.”
When that state of enoughness takes root in you and permeates your being, you will most probably be moved to chase some gulls and have some fun.
Gangway… I’ll see you on the beach!
“Those who bind themselves to a joy
Doth thy winged life destroy
But those who kiss the joy as it flies
Live in eternity’s sunrise
-William Blake
Scott Kalechstein is an aspiring ambassador of The Bigger Secret. He is known and celebrated (and sometimes tolerated) for his playful and passionate propensity for alliteration. In addition, he is a traveling minister, a Life Coach, a modern day troubadour, and an inspirational speaker. He travels the United States, Canada, Africa, and Europe giving concerts, talks and workshops, as well as presenting at conferences. Please visit www.scottsongs.com ( Linked text) to find out more and to sample songs. You can also sign up there for his free muse-letters to receive articles like this one on a bi-monthly basis.
Oprah meets Abraham
Sunday, May 6th, 2007If you are getting the Illuminations ezine, you already have the links to
hear Oprah on XM radio as she interviews Esther-Hicks.
I find the teachings of Abraham to be the most solid spiritual teachings
ever and so I want to share them with you.
If you haven’t yet read The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks,
I recommend it highly. I read it 3x in a row - (I never do that.) and
I’ve been teaching and practicing this stuff for almost 20 years now.
It’s said so easily and to the point.
We are SOURCE ENERGY and we are continually creating what we
want because of the contrasts happening in our lives (in other words,
what we don’t think we want!)
I really want to hear your ideas here. I promise to answer as many entries as I can.
Thanks
Dr. Toni
Law of Attraction - JOY is What We Are
Friday, May 4th, 2007Joy is not something we get or obtain - joy is what we are. We can’t search for joy - it is not outside of us. It is already right where we are. We have to let it reveal itself to us. Here’s an important distinction to remember: joy is not a reactionary emotion; it is a causative energy. Let me repeat: joy is not a reactionary emotion; it is a causative energy. It is not something that just happens as a result of outer experience; it is something we can release from inside ourselves by active will.
Nisargadatta Majaraj responded with this stunning answer to an inquiry about his not feeling sad in the face of circumstances that drive most people to despair, such as war, poverty and the like: In my world, nothing ever goes wrong. He was saying that he lived in the world of Spirit, and the rest is illusion. A Course in Miracles says: Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.
We experience true joy then when we are experiencing the PRESENCE of GOD – everything I teach is about learning to LIVE in this PRESENCE. It’s all about living consciously. It’s about living in awareness so that we stay in present moment and not let ourselves be pushed by the past or pulled by the future. Living in the present is living in the Presence.
Let me give you an example. I had a rather angry outburst directed at someone this week. I apologized to her and to those who witnessed it, because I was aware even as I was doing it that what I was experiencing at the moment was not what I was feeling anger over.
Did you ever notice that? Most of the time when we feel anger, it’s not about what just happened. I wasn’t totally conscious in the moment of the outburst, but I’m going to tell you I was so - immediately afterwards. The time lags are getting shorter… that’s a sign of growth! But what I’m really trying to say is that spiritual growth isn’t about feeling good all the time and it isn’t about being PERFECT or about LIKING everything that is happening in our lives. At the split second after the outburst, I could
see the perfection in what was happening in me, as me, and through me. And in the pain I was feeling at the moment, and even with the tears I shed, I FELT a deep sense of JOY.
Does that sound strange to you? I was in touch both with the anger at the moment and where it was coming from, so I was in a state of being present, and could feel the Presence as a result. That’s what we mean when we talk about consciousness. Most of us think it means bliss. I should be out there feeling wonderful all the time. And what it is is being conscious at the moment, so we don’t get caught up in what is happening, and coming to recognize when there are places of healing that are showing up in our lives.