Archive for the 'Women Midlife' Category

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Age of Miracles - All about Midlife Women

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Have you read Marianne Williamson’s Age of Miracles, all about midlife? I just read it the second time. It’s my quest in life to change the way the world views midlife and I think this is a start. I don’t always agree with everything Marianne has to say, but there is a wonderful passage that I want to share (in case you haven’t already read it) since it speaks to my heart:

Famous passage from Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you NOT to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I invite you to ponder those ideas -and ask yourself where in your life you are FEARING FREEDOM and therefore blocking this quality that wants to come into your experience in a greater way?

Choose today to accept the fact that we were born free and are meant to be free. Free from the influence, of others. Free of the thoughts and opinions of others. Free of our past. We are not living in the past and can be totally free from that. We are free to be the full expression of who we are - individually. Because we are individual expressions of the One Mind, One Power, One Life, this means we have self choice, volition, a conscious mind, complete freedom and a “POWER TO BACK UP THAT FREEDOM.”

From Ernest Holmes
In the Science of Mind, by Ernest Holmes on p.108 we read: “We cannot imagine a mechanical or unspontaneous individuality; to be real and free, individuality must be created in the image of Perfection and let alone to make the great discovery for itself.” That is the discovery of our Freedom.

We are created with the possibility of limitless freedom and left alone to discover it ourselves. This discovery is called the awakening process.

Ultimate freedom is the freedom to be the divine self that you are, which includes living as a fully balanced and conscious being. When you remember that you are liberated, you are spontaneous in your expression of life and you express in ways that are in harmony with the greatest good for everyone concerned. How many of us live inhibited, for whatever reason.

I watched a video recently of people laughing, just people laughing and they looked so silly and most of us don’t want to look like that. We’re worried that people might think there is something strange about us. So, we hold ourselves back from laughing. How many things do you hold yourself back from? When you accept your Freedom, you are at ease wherever you find yourself. You have the freedom, to just be you. When you are free, you don’t have to worry about what the other person is thinking, feeling, being, doing. When you are really free, you can totally allow another person to be free, because you don’t depend on their being anything. And that’s even your partner or anyone else in your life. Your freedom doesn’t depend on what they do or say. Nothing binds you, you are a true individual, unique and expressive. Life takes on more joy when freedom is realized.

We have total freedom to choose at every moment and we constantly experience the results of our thoughts and the results of our actions. What Freedom that is! We think it’s a burden, but, in truth, its amazing freedom to know that no one else has the power over your life but you. If you don’t like what’s happening in your life, you have the power to change it. You don’t have to wait until mom or dad do something. You don’t have to wait until your partner gets better; you don’t have to wait until the children grow up; you don’t have to wait for anything. You’re the one that has the ultimate power and the ultimate freedom. When we do that, being free allows us to experience so much more of life.

The difference between freedom and bondage is simply the word, Choice. We have choice in every single moment, in every single experience. Let’s choose to be conscious of our choice. But, even that choice is yours.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | 2 Comments »

‘America the Beautiful’ Probes Fashion’s Ugly Side

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
(WOMENSENEWS)–A trio of movies this year explore how beauty
in the United States has come to be equated with ultra-thin,
highly toned bodies that can’t be achieved by most people.In the
documentary “America the Beautiful,” which has been s
howing in independent movie houses in select cities since May,
filmmaker Darryl Roberts confronts fashion insiders about their
reliance on wire hanger-thin models.”It’s just that the fabric is so expensive, and the detailing,”
Greg Moore, a producer of shows for New York Fashion Week, says in
the film. “If you make a dress that’s a size 4, and no one buys it,
you’ve only bought three yards. If she’s a size 10, you’ve bought
10 yards. If you’ve spent $10,000 on fabric, and no one buys it,
you’ve lost $10,000 in fabric.”

Roberts’ film is one of three independently made movies this
year to focus on America’s toxic obsession with weight and its
impact on the self-esteem of women and girls, including models.
Together, they raise a chorus of demand for change aimed at the
multi-billion-dollar fashion and diet industries and TV networks
garnering high ratings from shows such as NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.”

“Everywhere you look, we’re sold the promise that if you’re
beautiful, your life will be better,” says Roberts, 46, a former on-air
TV personality, for whom this is a second foray into movie making.
His first film was “How U Like Me Now,” which dealt with relationships
in the 1990s. “Is it possible the beauty promise is a lie? Just plain and simple propaganda?”

No Comment From Fashion Council

A spokesperson for the New York-based Council of Fashion
Designers of America said leaders of the organization declined
to answer that question or any other raised by the films.

For filmmaker Diane Israel, the pursuit of the beauty ideal
proved almost fatal. Her film, “Beauty Mark,” which debuted
last February at the University of Colorado, Boulder, describes
her descent into anorexia. An elite triathlete, her destructive eating
habits and obsessive exercising led to physical collapse and the end
of her athletic career at age 28. Poor nutrition left her with bones like
a 70-year-old woman.

The third movie, first shown in July in Manhattan, is “disFigured,”
the only one to treat the topic fictionally. Filmmaker Glen Gers
tells the story through two main characters, a recovering anorexic
and an overweight woman who first see each other at a “fat acceptance”
group. Darcy, the anorexic, inappropriately tries to find support there.
The group rejects her, but later she becomes a close friend to
the overweight Lydia.

The central character in Roberts’ documentary is Gerren Taylor,
who became a celebrated runway model at age 12 while she was still
playing with Barbie dolls. But soon after her rise to success, she was
rejected by agencies and designers despite being a size 4 with not
an ounce of extra fat; the spread of her hip bones (she was almost
6 feet tall at 12) made her obese in their eyes.

Weight a Recent Obsession

While women have long been pressured to keep their
bodies fashionable it was not until the end of the 1970s and
early 1980s that low weight became the overriding goal and
the subject of an explosion of books and articles about dieting,
according to “The Beauty Myth,” the 1991 book by feminist
critic Naomi Wolf. She links the obsession to a new commercial
imperative: Women no longer consumed by domestic duties
had to be motivated to keep lusting for products and services,
this time not to banish “ring around the collar,” as a Tide
ad once promised, but to be unrealistically thin.

Since the 1970s, the escalating pressures have been
reflected in the shrinking size of fashion models. “Even in
the ’90s the models were not skeletal, but today the fashion
industry says clothes look better on hangers and want women
(models) like hangars,” said Lynn Grefe, president of the
Seattle-based National Eating Disorders Association. “Even
if people don’t develop eating disorders, the self-esteem issues
are rampant,” said Grefe, who appears in Roberts’ film.

According to a 1996 study, an estimated 80 percent of
young adult U.S. women were dissatisfied with their appearance,
and particularly their weight. But an estimated 10 million women
and girls, and a million boys and men, have slipped beyond
dissatisfaction into life-threatening battles with anorexia and
bulimia, according to studies. “I meet the parents and see
the tears from people who’ve lost a loved one from something
that could be stopped,” says Grefe.

Efforts to prevent eating disorders have been underway
for years but until recently, none has proven to significantly
reduce the risk, according to Eric Stice, a leading researcher
in the field who works at the Oregon Research Institute in Eugene.

Peer Group Intervention

The best results to date have come from an intervention
called the Body Project, funded by the National Institute of
Mental Health, in which Stice has played a principle role.
Earlier prevention efforts have involved telling young women
about unrealistic body images and the dangers of eating
disorders but the messages have not stuck.

In contrast, the Body Project’s approach has been to
show small groups of high school and college students pictures
from magazines and then to ask them to talk about how these
images affect adolescent girls. “We’ve proven that if the
information comes out of their mouths, they listen to themselves,”
says Stice. This approach has been replicated successfully
a dozen times, including among sorority sisters at Trinity University.

This small-group technique, however, can hardly counter
the relentless mass media promotion of thinness.

Grefe thinks it’s time to try other routes, such as applying
workplace safety laws to fashion companies that require models
to be too thin for their health. She’d prefer a voluntary approach,
but said she was deeply disappointed by the failure of the
Council of Fashion Designers of America to suggest a minimum
body-mass index requirement after the deaths of two
models in 2006 from anorexia. The council’s spokesperson
said there would be no response to Grefe’s comment.

While acknowledging that he is “just one guy trying to
make a difference,” Roberts, meanwhile, has been using his
movie as the focus of a crusade against a proposed new
MTV show called “Model Makers.” MTV issued a call for
women who want to be models willing “to endure 12 weeks of
intensive physical fitness training to get them down to their ideal size.”

His efforts have apparently succeeded. MTV now says it
has no plans to air the show.

Frances Cerra Whittelsey is an author and f
reelance writer whose current work and blog, The Equalizer,
focus on women’s health, the environment and alternative
energy. She also teaches media ethics at Hofstra University in
Hempstead, N.Y.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

Midlife Mentors — Are you over 65?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

I’ve been told that midlife extends from 40 - 65 and so I got this idea to write a book where I interview people over 65 for their advice on midlife. You know how when you get an idea, it mushrooms. Well, I just came back from lunch where I was being wooed by a national radio station to do a show — and — well, now we’re looking for sponsors and we’ll be off starting January.

I know what happens when I get an idea. It’s so exciting to watch this all unfold.

Would love to hear from those of you over 65 who want to be included in the interviews as well.
Dr. Toni
Midlife Mentor
http:/www.reinventmidlife.com

Posted in Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

More Mis-messages about Midlife

Friday, October 10th, 2008

How many times have you heard yourself or your friends say, “I’m losing it”. EEKS… What are we doing to ourselves? Our words create our reality and if you are referring to forgetting things as you get older, I’d like to encourage you to reframe the experience. Isn’t it great that we forget a lot of our past - and even sometimes that we forget what we are saying at the moment? What do I mean?

Well, I don’t know about you, but, the memories I want to replay in my head are the ones where I was victorious, where I felt unconditional love and where I was at my peak. I remember these without hesitation. The other stuff — I may as well forget. Most of us dwell too much in our past anyway. We think it’s who we are when in fact, it’s no longer our truth. So, forgetting the past can be a very good thing.

What about forgetting mid-sentence what you were about to say? I find these moments sobering and they give me a chance to get centered and to ask myself, is this what I want to be thinking and saying right now? In other words, it keeps me more conscious - and that’s a good thing.

What about you? How do you feel about forgetting? Let’s hear from you here now.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Wisdom, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | 3 Comments »

Changing Midlife Messages for Women in the Age of Miracles

Monday, October 6th, 2008

This past weekend I attended the Hay House event, I CAN DO IT in Tampa, FL.  Marianne Williamson’s talk on Midlife, comparing our personal growth and change to what is happening in our world was awesome.  She gave us all hope and reminded us that we all went through criseses in our younger years and we are here to tell about it.  The doom and gloom in our ‘economy’ and threats of terror are the world’s indication that it is going through puberty!!  Interesting concept — and very stirring message.  If you get a chance to listen to it, I highly recommend it.  Check out Hay House offerings.  If you haven’t read Marianne’s latest book, The Age of Miracles, I also highly recommend that.  My new book is a bit different from Marianne’s — because our experiences have been different — but the basic message is similar — change is not only possible, it is inevitable. And as Barbara Marx Hubbard always says, “our crisis is our birth.”  It’s time to be re-born.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Reinvention, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

A Midlife Conversation

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

I had an interesting conversation last night with some of my friends who have a few years on me. They were excited about what I am doing. We have never really had any mentors to show us the positive aspects of aging, they both agreed. All we ever heard was - hide the wrinkles, watch the crows feet, and by all means don’t go grey.

What are these messages trying to tell us? It’s not okay to get old? I used to think that the world was prejudiced towards men and now I am seeing a distinct prejudice toward youth. Maybe it’s always been there and I never noticed it before - having been among the youth - but I really feel such a strong call now to change these messages. It’s truly time to reinvent midlife.

If you are not yet receiving my newsletter, sign up on this page — or go to http://www.reinventmidlife.com
If you are interested in having a provocative speaker at your next event or radio show - go to http://www.tonilamotta.com
I’ll be waiting.
Dr. Toni

Posted in Law of Attraction, Abraham-Hicks, Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles: What are the mis-messages we’ve received?

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

I’m reading Marianne Williamson’s latest book again and it’s helping to evoke some of my own ideas about midlife. Her life and mine have been very different and while we are on similar paths, we come to some different conclusions or at least different viewpoints.

It’s made me wonder about what YOUR viewpoints on midlife are or have been? I’m writing these days on Messages that Women, in particular, have received about midlife.

As an example, I like to watch makeover shows — -not the extreme ones — but, things like What Not to Wear and How Do I Look. While I usually like those shows and love the way they help women with their self-esteem, one thing I noticed is that everyone they work with is YOUNG…. say 20 -30 mostly. Many times, when one of them isn’t dressing well, they say to her — You look 60! EEKS — I find myself cringing at the thought that that’s how these fashion icons see 60 year olds. I’ve passed 60 and I pride myself on the way I dress. I want to be a mentor and a model for what is possible.

What about you? What message do you see out there about being a midlife woman (or older?) Please post your comments here…You’ll be helping yourself as well as those who are following us in a better world!

Posted in Law of Attraction, Change, Women Midlife, Reinvention, Wisdom, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life | 4 Comments »

Create Your Own Mind Movie

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

To find the system that I used to create this mind movie:

go to: http://www.mindmovies.com/?&aff_id=17035&camp_id=553

The system is on a half-price sale right now - and is VERY WORTH IT…

Check it out… Your subconscious will thank you!
Dr. Toni

Posted in Law of Attraction, "The Secret", Goal Setting, Change, Abraham-Hicks, Women Midlife, Reinvention, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life | No Comments »

What You really Want, Wants You.

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

-Uncovering Twelve Qualities You Already Have to Get What You Think Is Missing.

This innovative self-help guide shows you how to take advantage of qualities you already have to move from struggle to success to significance-and into the life you’ve always wanted.

By focusing on “The Divine Dozen,” twelve innate qualities you already possess, Dr. LaMotta shows you how to identify and focus on what you really want and explains why the things you think are your current goals are only distracting symbols of what you actually seek. With her spiritual system for success, you will discover the immense power within you, learn how to access it, and use it to embark on a genuinely fulfilling, meaningful journey.

 

Posted in Women Midlife | No Comments »

Women In Midlife - Are You Visioning Or Visualizing? The Difference Will Lead You To A Fuller Life

Monday, April 7th, 2008
Have you learned how to relax more in midlife and start moving from MAKING things happen to allowing them to happen? This is a critical step in moving through midlife - especially as women.

Most of us live our lives moving back and forth between being victim and believing that life is happening to us and being manifestors or co-creators and knowing that we are responsible for what is coming into our lives. (stages 1 and 2 of spiritual growth are known as TO ME and BY ME)

The third stage of spiritual growth, known as THROUGH ME, is all about allowing things to happen rather than making them or forcing them.

All my life I’ve known that I could have or do anything that I put my mind down to. Clear focus, persistence and action do produce results. When we set goals, focus on them and take daily action, we do see them happen. This is often done with lots of effort and strain. But, there is truly an easier way.

I remember once hearing Dr. Michael Beckwith, Director of the Agape Center in CA (of ‘The Secret” fame) say, “This is the stage where we stop making things happen and begin to make them welcome.”

While visualization - the practice of deciding what you want and focusing on it happening is a major tool for stage two development, the process of Visioning is a stage three tool where you sit in silence asking of your higher self, the Universe, or God as you see it, “What is Your highest idea for me in this area…”

In other articles, I’ll be sharing more about this as I speak more about processes we can use when reinventing ourselves. For now, here’s a reference I use for more information: http://religiousscience.org/ucrs_site/education/visioning.html

Are you ready to give up Control?

Once you get good at manifestation but want to move onto a higher state, you need to give up Control. That’s a tough one, right - particularly if you’re a control freak - at times - Its’ difficult; particularly if you’ve been buffered around by life and someone tells you, You can have it all. “It’s the Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom”, you can manifest life the way you want it to be, you can experience the kingdom, if you can see it you can have it.

Truly life-changing results

Once you start truly manifesting, you begin to change your life. Your body begins to heal; your body of affairs begin to take on the shape of beauty and harmony and wholeness and prosperity, etc. There’s no way you want to give up control! That only happens as a result of your awareness that the will of God is Good - it is not chaotic - it is a greater order than we can make for ourselves.

So, every time we pray; every time we meditate, every time we speak the word; every time we do a spiritual mind treatment, we’re coming into a greater awareness that the Spirit of God is for us not against us- that the will of God and my heart’s desire is the same thing - there is no difference between my inner heart’s desire and the will of God - They’re the same - that the Spirit of God recreated me in its own image and likeness to reveal all that God is in a most magnificent and beautiful way - and as I know that - I become more willing to release - I’m willing to let go of control so that spontaneously goodness can begin to flow through me - without my making it happen - I become aware that something has happened and I participate in that..

In the ZONE

Now, all of you have had that experience - perhaps in your writing, in art, in athletics, there came a moment when suddenly you were in the Zone and beyond what you could image or make happen, you went beyond your borders and your boundary and experiences something and revealed some piece of music or some piece of art that was beyond what you really could make happen and sometimes you even feel somehow that you didn’t do it - it was done through you.

Those are moment of the Spirit operating through you, when you weren’t trying to make it happen but you were totally involved in it. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Learning to Rest

Okay so, when we become willing to let go of control and to rest in the Spirit with the awareness that the Will of God and our heart’s desire is the same thing, then this happens more and more and more. We become more and more in present moment, more and more in now moment, and more and more of the spontaneous goodness takes place beyond our ability to plan for it, beyond our ability to control it. We’ve done so much work at this level that we can let go. What a glorious place to be! And so, do everything you can to help yourself stay in that state and create a midlife worth having.

And so, I would like to offer a support system for getting and keeping clear in your life. When you subscribe to my free Women Reinvent Midlife newsletter, you’ll even receive a special report called, “7 Secrets for Reinventing Midlife from the Inside-Out”. You can get your copy right now at http://www.reinventmidlife.com

From Dr. Toni LaMotta, Midlife Reinvention Specialist and Spiritual Life Clarity Coach

Posted in Law of Attraction, Women Midlife | No Comments »

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